4 Tips for Reluctant Networkers


Debra L. Bruce, JD, PCC.

Lately I’ve been getting calls from laid off lawyers for help in augmenting their job search efforts. Contacting legal recruiters and submitting resumes online hasn’t been sufficient to land a new job. I also hear from attorneys whose business has dropped off.

One of my first questions is usually “What kind of networking do you do?” Frequently they confess that they aren’t very comfortable with networking, so they haven’t really done much. A recent caller lamented that he hadn’t tried to maintain a network when he was busy. He just focused on doing good work. When times got tough, he contacted the handful of people he had kept in touch with, but that fell short.

I wasn’t surprised at those responses. I read somewhere that 69% of lawyers are introverts. Introverts get drained by being around a lot of people and may find it stressful. Here are a few tips to make that essential networking activity more enjoyable, or at least less painful, for the reluctant networker.

1. Go with the intention to help.

Lawyers who go to a meeting or a reception with the sole purpose of finding a new client or landing a job interview usually leave frustrated and discouraged. They miss the fundamental point: Networking is about building relationships. One of the quickest and most effective ways to initiate or strengthen a relationship is to help the other person. Recipients of your generosity, wisdom or connections will also be more motivated to help you when you need help.

When my coaching clients go to a function, I ask them not to leave until they have helped at least three people. It counts even if all they do is point someone to the restroom or bar. Possibilities for being helpful abound, however. For example, at a social or business function they can suggest an online resource for a problem, answer a legal or other question, make an introduction to someone else at the event who may be of interest, promise to send a link to an article on the subject of discussion, or go up to talk to someone standing alone.

Most of my reluctant networker clients report that when they attend with the goal of helping, they feel more at ease. Some report, with some surprise, that they actually kind of enjoy themselves.

2. Develop some starter questions.

The most common networking concern voiced by lawyers: I don’t know how to get (or keep) the conversation going. The most common complaint: Conversations at those things are so shallow and boring.

The solution: Take personal responsibility for making sure your conversations are interesting and fruitful. Develop a few questions in advance that you would be comfortable asking strangers after covering your basic introductions and niceties, or when the conversation lags. Listen with curiosity to their responses. You won’t need to have any pithy comebacks or brilliant insights. A follow-up question sparked by your interest and curiosity can keep the conversation flowing and interesting.

The following are a few examples to prime the pump of your brainstorming. Use your own judgment, experience and awareness of the venue to develop appropriate questions.
How is the economy affecting you (or your business, industry or company)?
What kind of silver linings do you see in the dark clouds of this economy?
How are you taking advantage of the extra time you have right now? (If business is slow)
What are some of the biggest challenges your [firm, company, industry or typical client] is facing going forward?
In your opinion, what makes a great ______? (Fill in whatever they are: real estate lawyer, CEO, engineer, salesperson, parent, etc.)
What do you like to do for fun when you’re not hanging out at events like this?
How was your [season or holiday that just ended]? What did you enjoy about [that season or holiday] when you were younger?
The practice of law is changing. What do you think it will be like five years from now?
How is your organization dealing with generational differences in the workplace?

Follow up with the people you meet by sending them an article, idea or connection that relates to their interests that you discover while talking to them.

3. Get involved strategically.

Avoid the scatter-shot approach to networking. Do some research and planning to target the most effective events to attend. Search for “index of associations” or “encyclopedia of associations” online to identify organizations that your potential clients or employers tend to participate in, including local and state bar association sections, if appropriate. Ask existing clients or someone in the industry which meetings they find valuable. Visit the meetings of several organizations.

Identify a couple of organizations that you enjoy the most. Attend them regularly and get involved by volunteering to work on something that interests you. Regular attendance conveys reliability and provides the opportunity to reinforce new relationships. Your service will set you apart, and build connections to leaders and influencers in the group. Most organizations welcome volunteers who are reliable and willing to work, even when they are new. As you fulfill your commitments, group members will develop trust in you, and desire to help you. They will unconsciously judge your abilities as a lawyer by how consistently you show up and perform the duties you take on, even when the duties don’t require legal expertise. So be sure to follow through on your commitments.

4. Repeat.

Remember that networking is about building relationships, not about selling yourself. Although you may get lucky enough to hear about an opportunity the first time you meet someone, odds are that more persistence will be necessary. People usually need to get to know you to feel comfortable to hire you, refer business or share their valuable connections. They also need multiple exposures to you (in person, by phone or email) in order to remember you when they hear of an opportunity.

Once you get that new job or big client, don’t stop networking. There are more opportunities awaiting you, and life is unpredictable. After all, you weren’t planning to need a network this time, right?

Adapted from and reprinted with permission from the author’s article in the August 18, 2009 issue of The Legal Intelligencer. © 2009 Incisive Media US Properties, LLC. Further duplication without permission is prohibited. All rights reserved.

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  1. Improving a Legal Resume & Cover Letter on August 31st, 2011 8:34 am

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