Articles by Debra Bruce

Who Says Nice Guys Finish Last?

Debra Bruce, JD, PCC

“He was still talking about that 10 years later!” said Dan Hedges, senior partner at Porter & Hedges, L.L.P. in Houston. Hedges was referring to the time he was waiting for his wife to join him for dinner at one of Houston’s private clubs. He heard that a new member applicant was coming in, so when he saw a stranger hesitating in the foyer, Hedges went up and introduced himself. It was the stranger’s first day in Houston, and he appreciated the kindness. The stranger turned out to be the new CEO of a Fortune 500 energy company, which became a significant client of Hedges’ firm.

A partner in a large Dallas firm was involved in resolving a complicated billing dispute with a client. She suggested that the clients bring in their CPA for the next meeting, if it would help them feel more comfortable. After the matter was resolved, the CPA said he had observed her handling the conflict with such consideration and professionalism that he would send all his future business to her.

A financial planner had a problem getting a carpet cleaning company to settle up on damage done to his furniture. He had met Jim Dunn, a litigation partner in Houston’s Dunn, Neal & Gerger, so he called Jim for a little advice. Jim stepped in, and soon the financial planner received a reasonable settlement, with which he was very pleased. When he offered to pay for Jim’s services, it was a small matter that had not taken much time, so Jim said he was pleased to do it a no charge. Since then the financial planner has referred several clients to Jim and described him in very gracious terms.

What’s the point of these stories? Psychologists have disproved the axiom that “Nice Guys finish last,” at least when it comes to marketing. In fact, Nice Guys get business because we humans have a compelling impulse, rooted in the social survival of the species, to repay favors and kindnesses. You’ve seen this “Rule of Reciprocation” in practice when a charity sends you an inexpensive gift with its request for a donation. In his landmark book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Quill William Morrow 1993), respected psychologist, Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., reported that the Disabled American Veterans organization increased the response rate to its appeal for donations from 18% to 35% (nearly double) by including a little gift of gummed address labels with its request.

Please note that I am not advocating that you engage in insincere, manipulative behavior. People don’t like Eddie Haskell (Leave It to Beaver) sycophants. I am suggesting, however, that you will be rewarded over time for cultivating a habit of watching for opportunities to benefit other people. Nice Guys are generous with their time, talent, connections, gifts and knowledge.

Nice Guys don’t restrict their favors to people they see as potential clients. You never know who may be the next-door neighbor, in-law, or protégé of the person you help.

Don’t worry. You don’t have to give away free legal services or expensive gifts to trigger the Rule of Reciprocation. Any benefit transferred will create the reciprocation pull. Nice Guys learn to listen for the needs and interests of others. Here are a few examples of free or inexpensive Nice Guy gestures:

A potential referral source is a baseball fan with a sense of humor. Nice Guy sends him a clipping of an article about Yogi-isms or a copy of The Yogi Book: “I Really Didn’t Say Everything I Said” by Yogi Berra. That lets the recipient know that Nice Guy listens to him, remembers him and appreciates his interests.
Nice Guy connects a client with a good prospect for her business. Nice Guy gets a “two-fer” as he helps to fulfill the needs of two people, triggering the reciprocation response in both of them.
Nice Guy tells you to “keep it in case you need it later” when you return the pen borrowed to jot a note. (A Nice Guy did that for me a few months ago, and the gesture is branded into my memory.)

In today’s climate of public opinion regarding lawyers, a Nice Guy’s thoughtfulness and generosity will inure to the benefit of the profession as well. In the meantime, he gets remembered as being a cut above, and clients are more likely to give Nice Guy that valuable word-of-mouth publicity as they tell others what he did for them.

Finally, in addition to developing business, Nice Guys also get a biological benefit from each kindness they render. It has been reported that an act of kindness improves the functioning of the immune system and stimulates the production of serotonin (a neurotransmitter associated with mood elevation) in both the recipient and the giver.

So in reality, Nice Guys don’t finish last, they laugh last!